I can feel a mania coming on. It begins in my belly, right below my breastbone, where my ribs come together. I breathe faster, my heart beats faster, and I can get a LOT of stuff done. I've been somewhat manic today. It's evident in the fact that I've been busy until my body is exhausted, but my mind won't turn off. I like manias much better than their alternative. The house is cleaner, I feel thinner, happier, more energetic, I get crafty, etc. But, I also hate that I can't turn it off when I want to.
Thank the universe for smart doctors and their vast expanse of drugs that help me control these manias, and bring them down from their big roller coaster highs, to small dips. Luckily, my bipolar II is on the manic side, and NOT the depressive (although I have those periods, too). Not sure what kicked this one in, but I had fun playing dress up with my clothes (and fitting into/trying on things I haven't fit into in a while!). I am going to think of my mania as a visitor. It's awesome when it comes, but I'm somewhat grateful when it leaves, although I look forward to its' next visit. :)
So, I'll ride this mania tonight, until my meds kick in and I can chill out. Trying to be a calm, relaxed person is not my normal, natural state- but it is sort of a goal right now. However, I can't see chill from here right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment